Guess what?
It’s Friday night…
And I’ve got a hot date…
With my Husband…
Our first one in…
well, the last date we had was around Valentine’s day…
2008.
Yeah, Emma was in the sling. She was about 8 weeks old.
Tonight Luke will be in the sling. He’s 7 weeks old today.
All thanks to Aunt Haley!
Thank you Aunt Haley!
This week has been gong very well so far! Kaitie, Mandy and Jake have been doing awesome with their school and it feels great to be back on track!
But, Emma and Luke have been very busy learning too!
Learning to smile…
Learning to lift that head up…
and Learning a new way to say “I Love Do!”
See more Wordful Wednesday @SevenClownCircus!
Luke took his first shower with Daddy last night. He loved it! He only cried when we took him out 
Luke’s morning nap in the swing. This is the way Mommy can get breakfast made, some chores done and school started.
Still Mommy’s princess! (yeas, its out of focus… but still cute!)
So, it’s been 4 1/2 weeks since I gave birth. Everything should be back to normal, right? Clean house, laundry all caught up, dinner (and breakfast and lunch) from scratch and on the table every night, school all caught up, me showered and dressed by 8am everyday… RIGHT?
Ok, ok… stop laughing. No, seriously… stop, please.
Sadly, this is what I was expecting of myself. Not even at 4 weeks, but at 2 weeks. Oh yeah. I wanted everything to be up and running smoothly and perfectly at 2 weeks postpartum. Why yes, I am a bit delusional, thank you for asking.
It had been a rough couple of weeks for me. You see, stuff needed to be done. Lots of stuff. All I had to do was ask. Just ask.
I couldn’t do it. I could not ask for help.
WHY?
Good question! I’m still trying to figure that out.
The only thing I can blame it on is genes.
I come from some mighty pigheaded women!
My Mom is pretty pigheaded but nowhere near as bad as my Grandmothers were.
Woo-Baby! They took the cake!
My Mom’s mom, Grandma Tippie, was widowed when my mom and her sister were in the early teens. She had to provide for her and her daughters. She played the organ at church, baked and sold cakes and made their own clothing. Before she passed away, she was in an assisted living / nursing home. I felt so bad for the people that took care of her. She was never mean or anything. But don’t you dare tell her what to do!
My Dad’s mom, Grandma Iva, was even more stubborn that Grandma Tippie I think. She was a VERY headstrong woman. She birthed 7 children, losing one in infancy. She was strong and gentle all at once and I never saw anyone mess with her.
The way I look at it, I have a couple of strikes against me - Lineage (those crazy woman that I am related to), Red Hair (infamous for stubbornness) Irish, Scottish and Hungarian ancestry (how’s that for a crazy mix of temper and attitude?) and I was born April 30th making me - a Taurus, you know, the Bull.
I’m not sure if I was always like this, but it is so hard for me to ask for help. I will nearly kill myself before asking for help. So, you can imagine what it was like around here the past few weeks. Me being physically unable to do somethings and yet not wanting to ask for help. Which just made me angry, because things weren’t getting done (My poor husband!)
I am happy to report though - that I did ask for help, eventually. After crying and yelling and being mad at Marc. I stopped one morning last week and through my tears prayed. I prayed that God would make Marc see what he was doing wrong and how he NEEDED to help me! Then I prayed for forgiveness and prayed that God would help me do my part too.
Amazingly, it worked. I asked, Marc helped. I felt much better.
Things have cleared up around here and Ihav estarted to get our act together. By “our” I mean the entire family and house.
I am working on “THE MASTER PLAN!” A plan / schedule that includes cleaning, food, laundry and school. Its coming along nicely and amazingly enough… things are once again getting accomplished! Woo-Hoo!
If anyone is interested, I will be more than happy to share it once I finish.
My goal for this next year is to release myself from the perfectionism I struggle with sometimes and to occasionally, when I REALLY need to, ask for help.
Emma loves chocolate and I mean LOVES! Dark, milk, semi-sweet… it doesn’t matter to her - she loves them all! She has even been known to share a Green and Blacks 80% Dark with me. I have never met a 2 year old who loved dark chocolate.
Of course, I don’t like her to eat it often, but I swear she has a chocolate radar. If someone in the house has chocolate, she will find that person and turn on her charm until she gets her share!
For the Superbowl we made some brownies with cream cheese and raspberries on top. Emma didn’t get any that night, as she went down for a later nap at 4:30 and slept clear through the next morning! But, I let her partake after lunch on Monday.
The barrette? Jake put it in for her.. he tried. What do expect from a 6 year old boy?
She tries so hard to eat dainty.
I think she liked them.
“What?”
How has it been a month already?
The transition has been wonderful. The kids love him. Marc and I love him. The dogs love to sniff him. The cat could care less.
He is a wonderful baby. Sleeps well. Eats great. Cries when Mommy isn’t holding him.
Loves to sleep on my chest. Constantly has one goopy eye that I just CAN’T leave alone. Hates being in his car seat. Loves being in his Moby Wrap.
I am smitten.
I was in bed with Luke. He had just finished nursing when Marc walked in and grabbed the laptop to capture a few pictures.
Cute shot of Mommy and Luke
Then he spit up a little…
Oh boy… then he did this
And this…
Yeah - he fits right in around here!
It was a little weird to have slept till almost 8am. We let the kids stay up later than usual the previous night and they and Marc will all still fast asleep. I woke with a sensation that I had to go to the bathroom pretty bad and it kind of hurt.
I got up and did a quick potty visit then grabbed the laptop and headed back to bed to lay down for a little bit more. I was slightly reclined on my back with the laptop on my belly when I got another deep pain low in my abdomen. The pain made me sit up and change positions. A sudden realization hit me…. WAS THAT A CONTRACTION? Hmmm? Maybe not. So, I lay back down again and waited to see what happened. A few minutes later it happened again! I grabbed my phone and brought up my contraction timer app (They have an App for that!) and started timing. I had two more contractions, about 6 minutes apart and about 45 seconds to 1 minute long, and got excited!
I got out of bed and walked around for a few minutes to see what would happen and much to my delight - I had another contraction! Woo-Hoo! This is it!
I walked over to Marc’s side of the bed and gently nudged him awake. “Honey, I think I’m in labor” “Really?” he replied with a drowsy smile? Then I realized I was leaking a little blood onto our new carpet (Oh No!) “Umm, yeah and I just bled on the floor. You’re going to have to clean that up, I’m going to the bathroom” (Sorry for being bossy Baby!)
I got out of the bathroom and made sure Marc was awake and aware of what was going on, it sometimes takes him a few minutes to wake up, but he was wide awake this time! We talked for a few and I told him what had been going on. I then called Cathy, our midwife. It was so great to be able to tell her “This is it!” I told her what was going on and she said she would gather her things and be right over. I then called my sister-in-law, Haley. Haley lives about 1 1/2 hrs away and really wanted to be here for the birth. She missed Emma’s by a few minutes and didn’t want the same thing to happen this time. Sadly… she didn’t answer the phone! OH NO! I then called my good friend, Romanda. Marc and I had invited her and her 3 daughters to be with us for the birth. She was super excited and promised to be right over.
Marc started filling up the birth pool while I was working on getting the bed prepped. Once the pool was filling, Marc came out to help with the bed. About this time Emma woke up. I went in to get her and took a minute to snuggle with her as my baby one last time. Marc gave Haley another call, thankfully she answered! He told her what was going on and to come on down! I then yelled up to Kaitie and Mandy to wake up and come down stairs.
All of this happened in just a few minutes… and then there was a lull. OK, Now what? I guess it was time to get to work having a baby.
Mandy walked in a few minutes later all sleepy eyed and said “Good Morning. Did you need me?” I simply pointed to my belly. Her eyes got super wide and she said “Really” “Yep!” She then asked what she could do to help and I just asked her and Kaitie to take care of Emma and make sure she had some juice and breakfast.
I then sat down in my glider and grabbed the laptop. I jumped on Facebook to let all my buddies who were anxiously waiting for some labor news know that I was “finally” in labor. While on the computer I had a good contraction that surprised me a bit. When I was in labor with Emma, I found solace in that glider. It was very soothing and helped me relax. Not so much this time. The contraction I had made me NOT want to be sitting there. I wanted to get up, but it was to painful to move just then. I worked though the contraction and realized I was progressing quite quickly and was probably a little further along than I originally thought.
Just then I realized Amanda, the apprentice midwife had arrived. She asked how I was and watched as I had another contraction. I went in to brush my teeth and Romanda and Cathy showed up right around the same time.
Its about this time that the order of things gets a little fuzzy for me. I remember Cathy checking me to make sure I was far enough along to get in the pool, as it can actually slow labor down if you aren’t dilated enough and we didn’t want that! I REALLY did not want to lay down to be checked. I just knew how bad it would hurt laying on my back having a contraction! Why is that the standard in hospitals? Get up women! Labor is so much more manageable when you aren’t in a prone position! (ok, off the soapbox now - sorry) As Cathy finished checking me, I was 5-6cm, I started having a big contraction. Thankfully Marc pulled me up and helped me get through it.
Tub Time!
Getting into the pool was great! The water felt perfect and it was nice and deep. I was able to relax a little and was joking around with Romanda, Cathy and Amanda. Marc was in and out of the bathroom, getting the kids situated in the living room. I heard Jake was awake and all the kids, mine and Romanda’s were playing.
Very soon though, labor got harder and I found it more more difficult to joke and relax in between contractions. Marc was supporting me by holding me up a little and rubbing my neck. He was gently whispering to me, cheering me on and giving me words of encouragement.
Amanda had gotten a large pitcher and was pouring water onto my lower back during contractions. It felt so good!
Around (I’m guessing) 10-10:15 I started getting the urge to push. Surprisingly it wasn’t as strong an urge as it had been with Kaitie and Mandy or Emma’s birth. Here is also where I ran into a little problem. Not really a big issue by any means, but it made my pushing stage a lot longer than it needed to be. What was the problem? I had to go to the bathroom. Yep… I needed to have a bowel movement.
I was telling myself that this was normal. A lot of woman have bowel movements during labor… Let it go Alicia, let it go. But I was having a hard time with that.
After a short bit, I wasn’t making much progress with the pushing, so Cathy urged me to move to the bed. I think I was kind of relieved for the change. I didn’t realize it till after I moved, but I think the water was starting to bug me a bit.
At first, I was on the bed on all fours leaning over onto some pillows.
This just lasted a few minutes as Cathy gave me the birthing ball to lean on… Oh, I loved that so much better!
Sadly, I didn’t improve on the pushing front. I was still having the same problem as before.
After a few minutes, Marc mentioned to Cathy that I had problems pushing with Kaitie and Mandy because I had a full bladder and needed a catheter to empty. Cathy agreed and told me that she wanted me to move towards the toilet.
Once I was there, I don’t know if it was the position or the subconscious knowledge that I was where I needed to be… but I started having a very productive contraction and started pushing very seriously!
Then the realization hit! I could feel him crowning and I said “Oh, No! Not on the toilet!” But then another contraction hit and Cathy instructed me to stand up. I told her I couldn’t. She assured me, kind of firmly, that indeed I could. I stood up, braced myself and pushed that baby right out! Not on the toilet. (Praise God for that!)
I sat down and Cathy handed him to me. It was awesome! He cried, but just a little bit. I immediately noticed he had a little birthmark on his head, right on his soft spot. I also immediately noticed that he looked just like the rest of my children… in other words, just like Marc. I was not surprised.
I apologized to Marc for not being able to catch the baby. He chuckled a bit and said that it was OK.
It was about this time that Haley showed up. She missed the birth by about 3 minutes. Sorry again Haley!
Kaitie, Mandy, Jake and Emma came in to see our new baby. It was so great to see their reactions as they saw Luke for the very first time.
Amanda gave me a shot of pitocin to help lesson my bleeding (us redheads tend to dislike clotting for some reason) and I moved to my bed.
All the kids shuffled in and gathered around the bed to look at us and start doting on Luke. It was so great to have all those girls in the same room. Little Emma at 2 years old seeing her first newborn baby to Cathy who has seen well over 500! Fantastic!
After a few minutes, when the umbilical cord had stopped pulsating Cathy clamped the cord and Marc cut it. Then I delivered the placenta. Cathy and Amanda gave a little class to the kids, describing the placentas parts and what it does. Then all the kids, except for Emma, put on gloves and poked and prodded away at the placenta. It was quiet funny to see how into they were - those freaky little homeschooled kids.
Luke latched on right away. It actually surprised me a bit! He had such a powerful latch! Of course, he hasn’t come up for breath yet - or at least it seems that way!
Cathy ran a wonderful herbal bath for Luke and I while Amanda cleaned up and started the laundry and Marc made me something to eat. The bath was marvelous! Chamomile and lavender and lots of other fragrant and healing herbs. It was a little weird having Luke in the bath with me so soon. I’m sure you have all heard the advice to not get the umbilical wet, but this herbal bath actually helps dry out the cord. I loved being in the bath with Luke and watching him, mostly submerged, just floating peacefully. Every time he moved I could imagine him back in the womb kicking and poking me. It was beautiful.
Marc brought me one of his famous omelets and an English muffin with blackberry jelly.
After the bath, Luke and I settled into bed. Romanda and her kids had left, and mine were playing nicely in the living room. Things were quieting down. Cathy and Amanda finished up with us, checking vitals and making sure we were doing great. They passed on some instructions, packed up and were on there way. Marc climbed into bed with us and we enjoyed a very peaceful, relaxing moment. Reflecting in the events of the past few hours we marveled on how fast and perfect it went and that we had our new son with us. We also couldn’t get over how relaxed we felt. The whole homebirth experience was so perfect and relaxing. There were no nurses and other hospital staff coming and going, no bright lights, no limitations or restrictions. I was in MY bed, with MY baby and MY husband. MY kids could come and go as they please. I could eat or drink what I wanted when I wanted. Seriously… It was as close to perfect as I could imagine.
I love a good birth story, don’t you? I love to tell mine and I love to hear other peoples! For some reason I just don’t know how to start this one, so bear with me, ok?
I had been having some really good Braxton Hicks contractions since the day after Christmas. I actually called my midwife on Dec 26. I think I knew that is wasn’t the “real” thing, but they were just consistently coming. After a nice warm bath and a glass of wine, I went to bed and away the contractions went.
On Dec 30th I had, what I had hoped would be my last midwife appointment. I was, at that time 39 weeks and 3 days. Cathy offered to check me, and although I was a little worried about being let down if nothing was going on, I decided to go for it. I was happy to hear that I was 2-2.5 cm dilated and that Luke was real low, about at a +1 station. Woo-Hoo! This made me a real happy camper and I just KNEW that he would be coming any day!
The next day, New Years Eve, I was very crampy. Marc, myself and my SIL Haley, who had driven down the night before, were convinced that we were going to have a New Years Eve baby. Haley and I took a trip to Archivers to spend our Christmas gift cards and to keep myself preoccupied. I was spotting a lot and having some good “practice” contractions and honestly, couldn’t believe that I went to bed that night and woke up the next morning still pregnant and feeling totally fine.
So, New Years came and went and I was feeling fine. Totally normal.
Then came Sunday, Jan. 3rd, my due date… still feeling fine and normal. This was kind of a neat day for me though.
Throughout my previous pregnancies including this one, I always wanted a belly shot. You know those super cute semi-nude “Look at my big beautiful belly!” type pictures. Problem was… I never had the guts to take one. I have always struggled with body issues (like who hasn’t!) but the main source of irritation has always been my belly. After hitting puberty, I developed a pooch and even after bootcamp, when I was in the best shape of my life, I still had the pooch. Now imagine that pooch after having twins! YIKES! Plus, I never seemed to carry my babies in that cute little basketball shape that looks so adorable in the pregnancy pictures, mine is more like the “I swallowed a watermelon sideways” look, which doesn’t necessarily translate into a cute photo!
Needless to say, skipping the belly shot was even easier with Jake’s pregnancy and Emma’s. But on Jan 3rd, Luke’s due date I decided to bite the bullet and document my big beautiful belly! Here it is courtesy of my wonderful hubby! It may not be the best, but it is of me and my baby and I am SO HAPPY I did it. (Of course posting it on the web is a new level of crazy I can’t believe I just broached!)
Back to the birth story…
Wednesday I had another midwife appointment. It was semi-comical when I walked in and Cathy said “I can’t believe you are here!” Oh, me neither girlfriend! Me neither! I REALLY did not think I would be making that appointment, but there I was - 3 days past my due date. I should mention here that on this day I really started telling myself - “Well self (yeah, I so don’t say that, but it sounded funny) its not called an “ESTIMATED” due date for nothing.” Of course, this is also about this time that I started really questioning my body’s ability to go into labor on its own. Was I broken? Was I capable? Would it happen?
You see, I was induced at 39 weeks with pitocin with Kaitie and Mandy. I was induced with pitocin at 37 weeks with Jake, after my water broke and labor didn’t start. I drank castor oil at 40 weeks 4 days with Emma, because I had the same worries then… was my body capable of doing it on its own? I chickened out, I guess.
On Wednesday morning Marc and I had a talk regarding what I was willing or not willing to do to “bring on” labor. As my appointment started I still wasn’t sure, but I had been praying for some guidance. Cathy offered to check me again and made sure that I felt no pressure to do it. After a moment, I accepted. I realized at that time that any checks and things of that nature, were, well, kind of normal to me and that I could accept that as not intervening and be happy about my decision.
Luke was at a +1 station, I was now 3-4cm and about 70% effaced. She stripped my membranes a bit too and told me to go home and get some “Hubby Hormones” to perhaps, help things along.
Well, that evening, after just a small bout of mild cramping that afternoon, I was back to feeling completely normal and started worrying again. This time however the worrying went a little deeper. I was again, back to my early pregnancy anxiety. Mainly - “How am I going to be able to do this!?!” Mothering 5 kids? What in the world!?! Homeschooling, laundry, cooking, chores, Marc, me. HOW WAS I GOING TO DO IT!?!
Marc suggested prayer. Yeah, I knew I needed to pray. I needed to turn those burdens right over to God. Why is it in those times, it seems hardest to pray? Maybe its just me and my darn pigheaded stubbornness, but it is so hard for me sometimes to turn to God when I need help.
Thursday morning I woke up a little early. Everyone was still asleep and the house was so peaceful and quiet. Alright God - its you and me! I prayed. I prayed for peace and acceptance. But most of all I thanked God for all the blessings he has given me. My wonderful, hardworking husband who lay beside me. Kaitie and Mandy, my precious firstborn children who help me so much everyday. Jacob, who has taught me more than anyone and Emma, my sweet baby girl.
That day I felt a peace sweep over me and an understanding that just kind of put things into the right perspective for me.
I was able to have a relaxing day and I was able to go to sleep with a much lighter load on my back.
I got a full night of peaceful deep sleep that night, waking only at 8am with what I soon realized was a REAL contraction.
To be continued…
