I love a good birth story, don’t you? I love to tell mine and I love to hear other peoples! For some reason I just don’t know how to start this one, so bear with me, ok?
I had been having some really good Braxton Hicks contractions since the day after Christmas. I actually called my midwife on Dec 26. I think I knew that is wasn’t the “real” thing, but they were just consistently coming. After a nice warm bath and a glass of wine, I went to bed and away the contractions went.
On Dec 30th I had, what I had hoped would be my last midwife appointment. I was, at that time 39 weeks and 3 days. Cathy offered to check me, and although I was a little worried about being let down if nothing was going on, I decided to go for it. I was happy to hear that I was 2-2.5 cm dilated and that Luke was real low, about at a +1 station. Woo-Hoo! This made me a real happy camper and I just KNEW that he would be coming any day!
The next day, New Years Eve, I was very crampy. Marc, myself and my SIL Haley, who had driven down the night before, were convinced that we were going to have a New Years Eve baby. Haley and I took a trip to Archivers to spend our Christmas gift cards and to keep myself preoccupied. I was spotting a lot and having some good “practice” contractions and honestly, couldn’t believe that I went to bed that night and woke up the next morning still pregnant and feeling totally fine.
So, New Years came and went and I was feeling fine. Totally normal.
Then came Sunday, Jan. 3rd, my due date… still feeling fine and normal. This was kind of a neat day for me though.
Throughout my previous pregnancies including this one, I always wanted a belly shot. You know those super cute semi-nude “Look at my big beautiful belly!” type pictures. Problem was… I never had the guts to take one. I have always struggled with body issues (like who hasn’t!) but the main source of irritation has always been my belly. After hitting puberty, I developed a pooch and even after bootcamp, when I was in the best shape of my life, I still had the pooch. Now imagine that pooch after having twins! YIKES! Plus, I never seemed to carry my babies in that cute little basketball shape that looks so adorable in the pregnancy pictures, mine is more like the “I swallowed a watermelon sideways” look, which doesn’t necessarily translate into a cute photo!
Needless to say, skipping the belly shot was even easier with Jake’s pregnancy and Emma’s. But on Jan 3rd, Luke’s due date I decided to bite the bullet and document my big beautiful belly! Here it is courtesy of my wonderful hubby! It may not be the best, but it is of me and my baby and I am SO HAPPY I did it. (Of course posting it on the web is a new level of crazy I can’t believe I just broached!)
Back to the birth story…
Wednesday I had another midwife appointment. It was semi-comical when I walked in and Cathy said “I can’t believe you are here!” Oh, me neither girlfriend! Me neither! I REALLY did not think I would be making that appointment, but there I was - 3 days past my due date. I should mention here that on this day I really started telling myself - “Well self (yeah, I so don’t say that, but it sounded funny) its not called an “ESTIMATED” due date for nothing.” Of course, this is also about this time that I started really questioning my body’s ability to go into labor on its own. Was I broken? Was I capable? Would it happen?
You see, I was induced at 39 weeks with pitocin with Kaitie and Mandy. I was induced with pitocin at 37 weeks with Jake, after my water broke and labor didn’t start. I drank castor oil at 40 weeks 4 days with Emma, because I had the same worries then… was my body capable of doing it on its own? I chickened out, I guess.
On Wednesday morning Marc and I had a talk regarding what I was willing or not willing to do to “bring on” labor. As my appointment started I still wasn’t sure, but I had been praying for some guidance. Cathy offered to check me again and made sure that I felt no pressure to do it. After a moment, I accepted. I realized at that time that any checks and things of that nature, were, well, kind of normal to me and that I could accept that as not intervening and be happy about my decision.
Luke was at a +1 station, I was now 3-4cm and about 70% effaced. She stripped my membranes a bit too and told me to go home and get some “Hubby Hormones” to perhaps, help things along.
Well, that evening, after just a small bout of mild cramping that afternoon, I was back to feeling completely normal and started worrying again. This time however the worrying went a little deeper. I was again, back to my early pregnancy anxiety. Mainly - “How am I going to be able to do this!?!” Mothering 5 kids? What in the world!?! Homeschooling, laundry, cooking, chores, Marc, me. HOW WAS I GOING TO DO IT!?!
Marc suggested prayer. Yeah, I knew I needed to pray. I needed to turn those burdens right over to God. Why is it in those times, it seems hardest to pray? Maybe its just me and my darn pigheaded stubbornness, but it is so hard for me sometimes to turn to God when I need help.
Thursday morning I woke up a little early. Everyone was still asleep and the house was so peaceful and quiet. Alright God - its you and me! I prayed. I prayed for peace and acceptance. But most of all I thanked God for all the blessings he has given me. My wonderful, hardworking husband who lay beside me. Kaitie and Mandy, my precious firstborn children who help me so much everyday. Jacob, who has taught me more than anyone and Emma, my sweet baby girl.
That day I felt a peace sweep over me and an understanding that just kind of put things into the right perspective for me.
I was able to have a relaxing day and I was able to go to sleep with a much lighter load on my back.
I got a full night of peaceful deep sleep that night, waking only at 8am with what I soon realized was a REAL contraction.
To be continued…
